Setting boundaries
is more than
just saying no
Find more balance in life
Protect your peace
Put your energy into what truly matters
Pause before the automatic "yes"
Avoid the guilt hangover when you do say "no"
Build self-trust
...
Healthy boundaries help you
Are you struggling with overwhelm after automatically saying “yes” in the moment too many times…again?
Do you want more balance in your life, but don’t know how to say “no” without feeling like you’re dropping the ball or letting people down?
Maybe you don’t even know what you want for yourself anymore, you’re so used to meeting everyone else’s needs?
But you do know that
something needs to change
Hi, I’m Cynthia
...
...and I help overwhelmed over-givers set (and stick to) better boundaries so they can find more balance in life.
I know how hard it can be to feel like you're always “on call” for everyone else’s needs, still finding a way to make it work even when you know it's too much.
You’ve tried getting on top of your time and improving your scheduling. You probably know that you need to set better boundaries, and maybe you’ve even sought out therapy…but you still end up exhausted and stretched too thin, telling yourself “next time I’ll say no.”
I work with people just like you: the reliable ones, the capable ones…the natural helpers. By the time my clients come to me they feel stretched too thin and overwhelmed, and they're looking to make a change.
Yep, I get it
We all know that we should set boundaries, but simply deciding to “just say no” doesn’t usually work.
I understand the difficult balancing act between competing pressures from work, family, children and commitments that sound great when you say yes, but leave you feeling like (once again) you bit off more than you can chew.
Free
Download!
Get started today by downloading "Mapping What Matters"
Honestly, your problem isn't time management
You get stuff done and it’s always been that way. So, instead of starting at the surface of the problem,
I choose to look deeper
.
Together, as we explore what matters most to you, you’ll begin to see how your daily life changes as you begin putting those things first.
You’ve heard of the jar analogy, right?
If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you run the risk of filling up the space with pebbles and sand (a.k.a. emails in the evening, volunteering because nobody else is, saying “yes” without really thinking first, etc). Ironically, a jar packed to the rim with sand and pebbles doesn’t feel full, it feels empty. Your days are packed, but it still feels like there is never quite enough of you to go around.
Your time and energy are not infinite
.
I help you get clear on what the “big rocks” are in your life so you can make sure they go in first. Instead of your jar being filled up by the sand and pebbles that demand your immediate attention, you learn to create space for what you actually want your life to be built around.
Real change is definitely possible!
Read the testimonials below to see how my clients created healthier boundaries, less overwhelm, and lives that finally feel like their own.
Once those big rocks are firmly in place, you’ll feel your shoulders drop a little, and your head won’t feel quite as full. The same demands are still there, but your relationship to them will shift.
You will learn to respond, not just react
You’ll put some space between what’s in front of you demanding action and what actually matters the most to you. Saying no is still uncomfortable (at first), but it stops carrying the same weight of guilt and fear of disapproval afterwards.
I often remind clients of something we hear in those easily forgettable pre-flight announcements: in case of emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first. It sounds really counter-intuitive, but we can’t truly help others if we’re running out of oxygen ourselves.
How long have your oxygen levels been low?
What the heck do I know?
I’ve spent years navigating the competing demands of career and (single) motherhood. As a professor of music I worked closely with faculty and students as a mentor and advisor. What I loved most about being a professor was supporting people’s growth, and working with them one-to-one through real moments of challenge and change. Now I use that experience to deepen my work as an ICF-trained coach.
I bring the creativity and sensitivity of an artist, years of experience helping people move through complex transitions as a music professor, and a warm-hearted Buddhist-informed approach rooted in compassion and presence.
"...growth within limits is an invitation to deepen where we can’t broaden...within boundaries we nurture substance."
~Ruth Allen, "Weathering"
When I'm not coaching...
...I’m usually making something, whether that’s mosaics, music, chocolate, or just a general mess in the kitchen!
I was born and raised in Minnesota, but now I live in southern Switzerland with my second husband. I’m a devoted dog-mom and an aspiring Italian-speaker.
Once or twice a year I spend time in the US with friends and family at a small lake home in Wisconsin, which keeps me attached to my Northwoods roots.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING
Sharron,
Senior Instructional Consultant
I wasn't entirely sure what I needed when I first signed up for coaching, but it became clear almost immediately that boundary setting was at the heart of everything. I had tried therapy before, but I kept being told I was already doing all the right things. Coaching turned out to be the missing piece. In just six sessions, my concerns were addressed beyond anything I could have asked for. I've found ways to set boundaries without abandoning my desire to help others. I just do it on my own terms, in my own time. That shift has given me something I didn't realize I was missing - respect for myself. What surprised me the most was discovering that I actually have the ability to say no, or not right now, and everyone survives it. I have had conversations I never would have had six months ago, pushed myself well outside my comfort zone, and come out the other side feeling genuinely good about it. The coaching experience itself felt like having an inner voice finally asking all the right questions. Cynthia has this remarkable ability to see straight to the root of my insecurities and help me understand why I was struggling in the first place. If you are a constant self-doubter or unsure of your abilities, coaching sessions with Cynthia are a powerful way to find the strength that has always been there. She gives you someone willing to push you toward the uncomfortable things.
Melissa,
Associate Professor
These sessions were able to fill the gap of what counseling hadn't been able to do in the last year or two. I've started thinking more about why I am doing some of what fills my schedule and using my values as a litmus test of sorts when deciding whether to add another commitment. Coaching with Cynthia helped me talk through issues or goals by asking great questions that prompted deep reflection.